we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
