i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
No...this little piggys going to the bar
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I would ride that face into the sunset
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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