i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
