The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
