the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
How does one acquire holy water?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
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