they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Randomize
