I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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