Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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