you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
