WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
