I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
the night ended with taco bell and tears
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
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