We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Umm I'm too high to move.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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