I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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