make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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