Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize