I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Randomize
