and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
