Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
