Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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