Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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