Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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