Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
As shirtless as possible
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
