Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
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