Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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