p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Randomize
