Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
