hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
