His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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