Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
