Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
