I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Randomize
