yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
My vagina just clenched in fear
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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