VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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