Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize