i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
