idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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