Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
