To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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