My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
