I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
