Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
