All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
