If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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