He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
