You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
