I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
