i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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