Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
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