I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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