Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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