can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Everything about him screamed your future.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
