Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
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