I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize