my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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