she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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