I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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