it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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