You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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