I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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