True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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