it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Of course I have a pirate flag
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
