WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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