I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
someone get that fucking seahorse.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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