dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
