my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
So much Jack, so little girl.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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