I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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