Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
