i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
