did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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