i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
my sisters under your porch take her home
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
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