An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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