She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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