trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
