just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
