What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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