i jhust puked up my retainher.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
