She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
