Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
