textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I wish i was in the wii world.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize