You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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