he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
