And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Randomize
