He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
