she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
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