his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
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