I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
well you can't waste a boner
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
