I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
