So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
