he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
