ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
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