She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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